Significant Moments
by mxtt216
Summary: A selection of JJ/Emily oneshots. Previously titled Her Support. Rated K-M. Marked complete, but new chapters will be added. Requests open.
1. Chapter 1

**_This oneshot contains triggering content (self harm/violence) and should not be read by those who may be affected_**

-x-

It was colder now, Emily noticed as she curled into herself more on the tiled floor. The adrenaline was racing as fast as her mind was before she had done it and she hadn't even noticed, but now she had. She can feel the breeze rushing in through the window which seems to only be open a crack, but it feels like it's snowing to her.

She can't get up, can't move, can't think, not rationally anyway, otherwise she wouldn't have done this with her wife of six months sleeping in the room next to her. How could she tell her? She'd notice the cuts, and expect her to explain anyway so it'd be best to just come out with it tomorrow morning over breakfast, or on the car ride to work, just soon.

The guilt she felt began to override her thoughts, why did she go back to this? She'd been clean for so long, doing so good, all her scars from her teenage years and college were almost completely unnoticeable to anyone who wouldn't be looking for them. She's so weak, this was a teenagers way of coping, certainly not the coping mechanisms of a woman in her early 30's.

This was definitely a mistake. But if that was true why did this relax her more than her wife's comforting words, her reassurance that the events of the case that led to that 9 year old boy dying wasn't her fault? She knew, from the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach before they even boarded the jet for home that this was what she needed. She needed this familiar pain.

Emily knew in her heart this would crush her wife. It's not something to be proud of- no pride would be from her holding herself together and being strong. Not this. What about disappointment? She'd wonder why she couldn't talk, or at least wake her up before she resorted to this.

So there she was, on that bathroom floor, perfectly aware she was potentially ruining her life all over again, and not caring in the least. At best, she knew now she'd get some sleep tonight.

"Emily?" her wife's panicked tone tore the woman from her thoughts "Em, what did you do?"

JJ quickly drops to her knees beside her wife, and pressed a towel from their side table to Emily's bloody forearm "Baby, it's okay, can you get up?"

Emily knew she was attempting to put on a brave face for her benefit, but it didn't help, this was the first time the blonde had witnessed her like this, and Emily accepted that it must be difficult.

"I'm sorry Jennifer" Emily managed to whisper out as she was helped to her feet and out to sit on their bed

"Don't be sorry my love, do you want to talk about why you did it?" JJ knew why, she knew exactly why but she wanted Emily to say it. She had always known her wife bottled things up, compartmentalised until she had an eventual emotional break, but this was different and frightening. She knew Emily needed to talk about this before it got worse.

"I don't know what to say Jen, I-I should've been quicker, I should've seen it when we put together the profile- I should've taken that shot before he had that chance"

JJ just listened as her wife tried to explain and once she was sure Emily wasn't going to say more she began to speak again "Emily, sweetheart, you didn't do anything wrong. Any of us had that opportunity to spot that in the profile but we didn't, you can't blame yourself- and as for the shot, you wanted a clean arrest, which is understandable- he just wanted to torture us one last time Em, you are not responsible for that boy dying, you didn't shoot him"

Emily nodded showing she registered what her wife said but didn't bother replying, she still felt guilty.

"Can I look at them- just to see if I should dress them or anything?" JJ asked as she toyed with the edge of the blood stained towel, obviously unsure at what she should do in this situation

"They aren't that deep, they probably just need cleaning" Emily noted out loud, but once JJ removed the towel she realised that her wife was very much downplaying her injuries

"I'll be back in a minute Em, I need to get the first aid kit" she re-covered the wounds, knowing Emily wouldn't want to sit looking at them, and she quickly retrieved the first aid kit they kept in their living room cabinet

Once back, she cleaned and dressed the six medium sized cuts, which thankfully the bleeding had slowed from "Now, there you go" JJ said as she interlocked their fingers "Emily, you should lie down"

Emily wordlessly followed her wife's instructions, and lay in their bed, facing away from the blonde, wrapped in their duvet, prompting JJ to lay in behind her and wrap her arm around the dark haired womans waist. They didn't often lie like this, usually Emily had her arms around JJ, but tonight they both needed this.

"I love you Emily Prentiss" JJ ran her hand over Emily's side, which prompted her to notice the woman's shakes, attempting to cry silently "that's okay my love, let it out. I'm here"

"Please- don't leave Jen" Emily managed to get out through her tears, and her words caused the heaviness in her wife's heart to triple

"Never Emily, I wouldn't dream of it" she attempted to reassure the distraught woman but she didn't think anything could do that right now Emily ended up crying herself to sleep in her wifes arms, but JJ was just relieved the other woman was sleeping again. She hated how Emily had tortured herself over this case but she just had to do what she could to help her through it, and hope it built the woman back up again.

"Everything's okay, I'm staying here Emily and I love you unconditionally" JJ stroked her hair while she slept, knowing it would offer some comfort.

She knew this wasn't going to be easy, for either of them but JJ knew she would rather be here with Emily like this than be anywhere else. They'll be okay, Emily will be okay, once she has a strong support around her- and JJ vowed to be just that.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: this started off as just a oneshot but then I had more Jemily ideas I needed to write. This upload is definitely more fluffier than the last because I needed to write something lighter!

If you want to read anything in particular I'm open to requests!

-x-

It'd been a long case, and as all the weary agents dragged themselves back through the BAU's doors, they all came to the conclusion that what they needed most right now was to go for a drink. The suggestion from Morgan was greeted by resounding yeses, with the exception of the brunette woman, who remained silent.

"Em?" JJ wrapped her fingers softly around Emily's wrist, which caused the woman to flinch, but once she realised who was holding her, she relaxed, a minuscule amount "will you come with us?"

Emily cherished the contact with the blonde who had been holding her heart for the past few weeks, but who was so blissfully unaware of it- but she chastised herself, she couldn't let herself think like this, she couldn't mess this up.

"I don't know Jen, I-I.." Emily couldn't come up with a good excuse, she had no reason to avoid drinks apart from wanting to distance herself from her beautiful teammate

JJ flashed her a look, one knew Emily could never say no to. There was a sparkle in her eyes, one that Emily knew she'd give anything to see everyday for the rest of her life. Oh she was beyond screwed "one drink?"

Emily just nodded, and had to control the whimper that almost left her mouth at the loss of contact as JJ pulled her hand away from her wrist. Why did she always have to torture herself like this? Really, does she keep looking for the straightest, most unavailable women and just draw herself to them?

JJ and Garcia retreated to these own offices, putting their files back, and tying up any lose ends they needed to before they all took a well deserved weekend off, and that left Derek Morgan with the perfect opportunity at teasing the dark haired woman "Oh Princess.. you are clueless. Really?"

"What are you talking about Derek?" Emily rolling her eyes, as she attempted to brick back up the walls she loved having around her, the safety of blocking the others from her personal life made things easier for her

"I'm talking about your feelings for JJ, Prentiss" he stated bluntly, and Emily scoffed

"I have no feelings for JJ Derek, that's just ridiculous, she's straight-"

Derek's face lit up "straight? JJ? Princess, you're way off the mark there"

The dark haired woman's face lit up at Derek's words, making it obvious that her previous denial was in fact a huge lie "she's not straight?"

"Christ Emily, aren't you supposed to have some kind of gaydar? I've only ever known JJ to have girlfriends" Derek shared, which sent Emily's heart racing, she's really not straight

"I won't be offended if you wanna leave and go talk to her"

Emily just shoved him playfully, her eyes still glancing up to the office where she knew the blonde was.

The next two hours flew past, and Emily had drank more than her fair share of two pitchers of beer, purely to avoid any conversation, specifically with the blonde.

Reid, Rossi and Aaron had decided to bow out, leaving the other agents drinking and laughing together. Emily was becoming more and more intoxicated as time ticked by, and that left her with very little control over herself

She hummed a little to herself before moving closer to her blonde colleague "Jenny.. can I ask you something?"

JJ felt goosebumps rise on her skin at the feeling of the woman's hot breath against her ear, that and the dark haired agents nickname for her. Jenny? No one called her that, but she had to admit she liked it. "O-Of course you can Em, anything?" JJ looked up and notices Morgan and Garcia slip out of the booth, and she could've sworn the man winked at her before disappearing to the bar

"Is it true you-like girls too?" Emily slurred a little, and her question caused JJ's eyes to widen. Too? She's not straight?

"I do prefer women" JJ admitted, "why?"

"I was trying to convince Derek I didn't like you, and he said you weren't straight to try make me tell you that I do"

Both women froze once they realised Emily's words, and all that broke the silence was Emily's drunken giggling "oh my god Jen... I'm so sorry for just dumping that on you" Emily kept giggling despite the seriousness of her words

"I-I...um.. okay, you know what-" JJ brought her hands up to Emily's cheeks and pulled her into a kiss, one that was relatively chaste because JJ was very aware the woman she was kissing was very buzzed, however it was enough to get her feelings across "I like women Emily, and I like you, very much- but I don't think now is the time to discuss this" JJ sniggered a little at the disappointment written all over Emily's face "tomorrow morning cutie, I'm very ready to discuss this"

"Cutie?" Emily blushed furiously, while simultaneously pouting "I'm not a cutie, I'm badass"

"Of course you are, Em"


	3. Chapter 3

They'd been arguing now for three hours, and Emily felt every second of it in the sickness that had knotted itself into her stomach, and stayed. She'd glance across the room, and watch as her lover intentionally refused to meet her eyes.

Emily knew she'd started this, the pressure of their recently closed case had built up and led to her explosion, led to her cruel words directed at the blonde.

 ** _'You don't care about me- don't even pretend that you do Jennifer'_**

Her words struck a nerve, and Emily should've known they weren't true, but there was always that part of her deep down that led her to think like that. As long as she could remember she'd had thoughts like that and she wrote them off as simple insecurities, a lack of trust, but now they were messing with her relationship. Albeit a new relationship but still.

She'd had enough, enough of trying to work and getting no where because every single thought was of JJ. This needed to happen now.

"Jennifer" she just barely whispers, her voice completely failing her once she's beside the woman "is there somewhere- _uh_ -we could talk.. maybe?"

JJ's eyes flashed angrily at the brunette woman, however she felt her heart soften just slightly at the obvious strain their argument had put on her. Emily didn't often show her feelings, she let most situations run over her, with a simple shrug and the insistence that she was just a professional at compartmentalising, however with JJ there was a shift. Emily found herself wanting to be more open, even vulnerable, but she was clearly going about things the wrong way.  
"Sure, I'll meet you in the case room, just give me a couple minutes Emily"

Emily walked up to the case room, as subtly as possible attempting to chew on her thumb nail, she wasn't sure how she was going to explain this to the other agent. What could she say, and say in positive way that didn't make it seem like she was trying to make the blonde feel bad for her?

She paced anxiously across the room, racking her brain, trying to form some logical argument for her behaviour- but she pulled from her thoughts by the unmistakable sound of the door, and her girlfriends voice "What's up Emily?" she attempted to be cold, still clearly hurt from Emily's words earlier that morning.

"Jen, sweetheart-" Emily started, but JJ cut her off

"What made you say that? Of all people Emily you should _know_ I care about- Christ, the first night you kissed me I admitted I was in love with you. Is there something I can do to make it more clear to you?" it's obvious to the dark haired woman the words came from her hurt, but if that wasn't clear, the tears in the younger womans eyes confirmed it for her. She crossed the room and took the blonds hands into her own, and surprisingly JJ gripped her tighter instead

"I'm so sorry for hurting you like that, but I need to be honest, sometimes I feel that way-" JJ tried to cut Emily off again, but she pushed her point "Please Jay, let me finish. This isn't anything you can help, there's nothing I can do to stop it either, I-I'm just insecure, I suppose. It's always been like this" she paused and laughed dryly "maybe it's yet another psychological problem from my childhood"

JJ caught the pain flash in the womans eyes, this was all too real for her girlfriend, she lived with that feeling of _'not good enough'_ constantly. Wouldn't that be utterly exhausting?

"Can you try talk to me about it? When it bothers you, I want to try understand it Emily, I want to show you just how loved you really are" JJ admitted, before softly, passionately cupping the womans cheeks and pulling her into a deep kiss. It's a reassurance, and Emily knows it wont last, but she pushes that thought away and holds onto the fact that in this moment, her and Jennifer were here together, and she was loved.

"I'll try, I really will Jen" Emily admits as they pull apart, and that's when she meets the blondes eyes, and notices that telling sparkle

"Let me show you just how loved you really are" JJ's hand grazes up the older agents thigh, and to an area which is far too close for the professional side of Emily's comfort

"Here?" she just managed to breathe out, which made JJ smirk

"I think that'd be a little risky, but we have our cars, and a lunch break- meet you there in ten?"

Emily, being as impatient as ever scoffed "Try five, Jennifer" she whispered against the younger agents ear, which sent a visible shiver down her spine, and left Emily with the smirk toying against her lips


	4. Chapter 4

**_AN: This is slightly AU, and contains the theme of death throughout so if that bothers you don't read!_**

 ** _Also, in relation to the last chapter, and the review for me to write the smutty continuation, I gave it a try but I haven't written like that in a while and couldn't get it to work- but I'll keep trying and post it if I get it right!_**

 ** _Thanks for the support!_**

-x-

JJ thrashed in bed, waking herself as her foot crashed painfully against the base board of the bed. She knew this would happen again tonight. She'd been having the same nightmare lately, maybe her mind was punishing her for forcing her feelings for Emily away so desperately.

It was always the same scenario, their unknown masked UnSub would be holding Emily in this cramped, basement, and have her painfully chained up by her wrists, similar to JJs own experiences with being held that way. Then JJ would make a move to rescue the dark haired woman who was the object of her affections but she couldn't. It was as if her feet had been cemented to the ground, and no matter hard she tried to run to Emily she couldn't. All she could do was watch as the hooded figure tortured the brunette, and even more painfully, watch as he violently stabbed her, again and again, laughing manically as she bled out and JJ cried.

"JJ?" Emily burst into her room, panicked, and for a second JJ struggled to remember that she had allowed Emily to sleep on her couch, after she got a little too buzzed on girls night. Oh how embarrassing was this? How would she explain this nightmare without looking ridiculous? "Jay... you're white as a ghost, what happened?"

"I had a nightmare" she admitted meekly, refusing to meet the older woman's eyes, but Emily wasn't going to let her withdraw. She sat onto the bed and drew the other woman into her arms, carefully so not to startle her. JJ immediately relaxed against her, the sound of Emily's heart beating reassuring her that she was there, and alive with her and nothing was going to take that

"You wanna talk about it?" Emily asked after a few minutes of JJ's laboured breathing, and silence.

"It's pretty ridiculous Em, I-I-"

"Jennifer if it's making you react like this it's obviously important" Emily chided gently, disliking the fact the blonde agent was attempting to belittle herself "please, maybe talking will help"

"You died" was all JJ blurted out, which startled Emily slightly but she didn't let that show, which encouraged her to continue "this creepy masked guy has you all tied up, and I try to get to you and save you, but I can't move Em! And he laughs at me, while you're dying- and then I wake up and for a second I believe it could be true-" JJ is sobbing by the time she's explained her dream and her feelings to Emily, who attempts to console her as much as possible

"Oh honey, that's awful. I'm so sorry that's what's causing all this.." Emily pauses, "how about I sleep here? That way if it happens again and you wake up you can see me- and wake me" she risks asking the question, offering to share a bed is something 'just friends' do right? She didn't want to let her feelings for the blonde put them in an awkward situation

"You'd do that?" JJ asks, secretly thankful at her offer since that was exactly what she wanted but she was too afraid to ask

"I'll do it every night until this stops if that's what you need Jennifer" Emily wraps her arm around JJ, holding her even closer "do you want to try sleep again now?"

JJ just nods and they slip into the double bed together, Emily deciding to hold the woman even as she's falling back asleep, and JJ can't help but imagine, is this how things would be if they were together? Getting to fall asleep cuddling, feeling safe and warm.

Days pass by, and every night JJ wakes up post-nightmare to be cuddled by Emily, until she doesn't. Tonight she woke up, her heart racing, and when she rolled over to face the dark haired woman she expected to be there, she realised she was alone.

She hopped out of bed and walked confused through the dark house towards the living room, would Emily be on the couch again? That wouldn't make sense though, not after how they'd spent the other nights this week?

She flicked on the living room light and saw the couch bare, no sign of bed clothes, or Emily. She grabbed her cell phone off the living room table and dialled the number she had known by heart, and it immediately cut off, no rings, no voicemail.. and then as she sat into the couch, it all came flooding back to JJ.

 _I'm sorry Ma'am, the agents injuries were so bad, she didn't survive the accident_.

JJ crumbled as her heart broke all over again, what was this? Some kind of cruel trick from her subconscious! It felt so real, every night, feeling Emily's arms around her, she swore that she was actually there.

 _'You need to see a shrink, you shouldn't be imagining your dead best friend cuddling you'_ she tells herself but that doesn't help the pain she feels right now. Emily's accident was less than a month ago, her car was taken out by a drunk truck driver as she drove home from work late one evening, and from what she'd overhead the team saying, they thought she'd been handling her grief remarkably well. Clearly that wasn't the case.

JJ pulled herself together, flipped off the light and left the living room, returning back to the cool bed, and knowing sleep wouldn't come for a while she curled into her duvet and cried. Cried for herself, her missed opportunity, their chance at being happy together being stolen from her, and she cried for Emily. Her sweet Emily.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a hard day, for all of the unexpected reasons. Hotch had given all the agents some time off after a particularly gruesome case, and JJ decided to use her time to travel back home. She hadn't visited her family in months, if she was honest it was almost a year and that was shameful.

But in her mind she was avoiding home for a reason. For the last 10 months she'd been in a new relationship, one that she was sure her parents wouldn't be all too impressed by- which turned out to be true.

 _Oh Jennifer, a woman! How could you do this to us? Don't you know what happens to that **type**_

Her mothers words rang in her mind as she drove back to her apartment. She had expected it to be bad, but the reality surpassed her worst expectations. Lectures from the older woman on religion, on having _"dirty blood"_ , disgracing the family. Meanwhile her father sat in stunned silence, listening. He never spoke but JJ knew that was probably in fear of getting swallowed up by his wife. But still JJ would've appreciated something.

She pulled her SUV into her parking garage and wiped away the tears from her eyes. She vowed to leave all those bad memories out here for tonight at least, she wanted to just go inside and relax, as much as she possibly could. Watch trashy television, get some greasy take-out, anything to distract herself.

Once she opens up the apartment door she freezes, the light from the kitchen is lighting up the hallway, and the unmistakable smell of lasagna is wafting to the door, making her realise how hungry she really is.

"Uh, Emily?" JJ calls out, tossing her keys into the bowl by the door, and heading towards the kitchen

"I used my key Jenny, I hope you don't mind" Emily replies, which makes JJ smile, she loved that nickname, and more than that, she loved that Emily felt comfortable enough to finally use the key she had given her weeks ago

She gets to the kitchen and sees the dining table set, with candles lit in the centre, and a single rose left by the placemat JJ always sits at "Oh wow, Emily of course I don't mind, but what made you do all this?" she was mostly in shock, she'd expected to be spending tonight alone

"I wanted to spoil you" the dark haired woman admitted as she handed JJ a glass of Cabernet, and placed a chaste kiss to her cheek "and anyway, I'd like to hear about how your visit home went"

JJ's face fell, which Emily noticed "-uh, of course you don't have to talk about that if you don't want to?"

The blonde took Emily's hands into her own, and smiled softly "you're so sweet, and I promise I'll tell you all about it, but I'm not ruining tonight. What you've done is so sweet, and I'd rather just enjoy my time with you, beautiful" she complimented, moving one hand up to stroke Emily's pale cheek, which was suddenly blushed at JJ's words

Emily excused herself to remove the Italian meal from the oven and put finishing touches to the dish, and JJ sat down, smelling the rose that was left in front of her, this was wonderful. So unexpected but perfect, and exactly what she needed tonight. She truly couldn't be any more grateful to her wonderful girlfriend for this evening and allowing her to have a perfect ending to an awful day.

 **AN: this was super short but I really needed some fluffy Jemily feelings, and I'll hopefully upload again really soon so I hope that makes up for the shortness!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: this oneshot is set in the hospital directly after Emily has been "killed" by Doyle and the pair aren't an established couple.**

-x-

Jennifer Jareau stood looking down at the beaten woman in the hospital bed, her mind working in overdrive "Emily, we'll have to lie to the team- tell them you're _dead_ " the thought of that was just too much for the overwhelmed blonde, but the fear and pain in Emily's made it clear that this decision wasn't easy on her either

"Jay, I know. This won't be easy for you, watching them like that but I need to protect myself, I can't risk him coming back-"

"I know" she stated simply, and she did, she realised this was the best option it was keeping Emily safe and alive.. even if she was stuck half way across the world. "I'm going to miss you"

Emily took JJ's hand into hers and squeezed it weakly but with as much strength as she could muster, hoping she was offering some kind of comfort to the blonde "listen, I know we don't have much time alone together so I need to give you something. Gimme that bag there will ya'?" Emily gestures to the clear plastic bag on the chair across the room, one containing her personal effects

JJ retrieves it and watches as Emily rummages through it, and finally finds what she was looking for "a key?" the younger agent asks, confused

"It's to my apartment. I prepared for something like this to happen, something that'd take me away from you-" Emily didn't say it, but JJ knew she meant she'd prepared for the chance that she may have died "go to my bedroom, and look under my bed, there's a box there with your name on it, keep it"

JJ takes the key from Emily without question, and can't help but wonder what Emily had done, but she knew whatever it was, it was going to break her heart.

"Thanks Em, and thank you, for whatever's in that box. I know it'll mean a lot to me" tears prick at her eyes, which doesn't go unnoticed by the injured agent

"I won't be away for long Jay, hopefully. And maybe we could work something out, some way of talking- you play a lot of online Scrabble, don't you?" Emily smiles widely, but JJ just looks concerned

"Would it not be dangerous-?"

"Listen, I'll manage, it's not like I'm going to set my username as emilyprentiss or something. I can't cut you off completely Jayje" Emily admitted and JJ just nodded, relieved the woman felt the same way she did about that

"JJ, it's time" Hotchs voice from behind her made her jump, and her heart race, couldn't they have ten more minutes?

"It's okay" Emily prompted "just, don't forget that key"

"Never... goodbye Em" she pulled the woman into a hug, as much as was physically possible between them since Emily was still lying down, and then in a moment of weakness, or maybe bravery she pressed her lips to Emily's "be safe"

"You too Jen"

The blonde wiped away her tears

and took a deep breath, how was she supposed to do this? When her own heart is breaking at leaving the woman she's loved for months, but didn't tell, and now she had to go and break all the other agents hearts too, with lies.

She left the room with one last glance to Emily, and all she could focus on in that moment was the key in her back pocket and the desperation she had to control in order to stop herself from running from the hospital and going straight to Emily's apartment.

She broke the news, which broke her heart as much as leaving Emily had, but once she had hung around long enough that leaving wouldn't arouse suspicions with the profilers, she did just that. She broke every speed limit and even ran a red light getting to Emily's apartment, she'd done enough waiting. This was the only silver lining she could draw from tonight, whatever this box was.

Within ten minutes she'd made it to the apartment and raced from the parking garage, up the two flights of stairs and to Emily's door. She slipped the key in effortlessly and hurried down the familiar hallway towards Emily's bedroom. They'd spent many nights together here, innocently enough, laughing and talking, and at one of their insistence, she'd always end up falling asleep with Emily by her side. It was one night here, while Emily slept beside her, that JJ had started to realise that her feelings for the older agent were more than friendly.

JJ dropped to the floor and searched under the bed until she noticed 'Jennifer' scrawled in Emily's familiar script across a medium sized cardboard box.

She pulls the box out, noting that its heavier then she imagined it would be. What could she have put in here?

Once she had it from off the ground, she decided she'd go through it on Emily's bed, it seemed easiest.

Upon opening the box she was struck by butterflies in her stomach, and a simultaneous ache in her heart. She saw several framed photos of the pair together, and a few of them and the team, some of which she didn't even know had existed, and just the sight of her and Emily looking so happy and carefree together, it was perfect, and exactly what she needed to see in that moment.

As well as the pictures there was one of Emily's favourite pyjama shirts, one which had always been a joke between the pair since JJ 'stole' it to sleep in every time she slept over.

JJ pulled the shirt to her face and inhaled, the scent that was so uniquely Emily filling her senses. This gift alone was all JJ knew she needed, but Emily never did halfass anything.

Under the shirt was a silver necklace, one JJ didn't recognise, but upon further inspection she realised was a locket. It was beautiful, and delicate and JJ knew from the moment she clipped it around her neck that it wouldn't be coming off.

And the final thing in the box, but the gift that ended up being most important to the blonde, was in an envelope that had been tucked in at the side of the box, obviously intended to have been found last.

She opened it up, and began scanning the letter

 _Jennifer,_

 _I'm_ _assuming since you found this, something less than ideal happened over the past few days, and just know I'm so sorry. This wasn't what I wanted for us. I wanted to be able to show you this, and tell you this in person, but you know what, I just didn't have the balls to come out and say it, and by the time I had worked up the courage, this Doyle situation begun to start up again and I couldn't risk you like that._

 _I'm so in love with you JJ._

 _And I don't know if that means all that much to you now, but please know that what I felt for you, it was real and even if I'm not with you, I felt it._

 _You made the last four years of my life some of the best, and I'm devastated that I won't get to see how the rest of them would've turned out with you._

 _I left you those pictures, maybe you could keep one of them on your desk, or at home. Something to remind you of our happier moments together._

 _The locket, well that ones pretty self explanatory, you have my heart Jenny. You always have really, it just took me some time to put that together, and even longer to finally admit it to you._

 _Please remember our happy times together Jen, celebrate us. Don't agonise over what could've happened, what didn't. Focus on the fact that without you, I never would've experienced the feelings I had for you, the love that I felt every time I even thought of you._

 _I love you, please remember that, and me._

 _Yours eternally, Emily_

JJ read and re-read the letter as the tears rolled unmercifully down her cheeks. Emily loved her too. And now she was gone. Maybe not forever but for who knows how long? How could life be so cruel? Taking Emily from her like that. If it was possible she hated Ian Doyle and this whole situation now than she did earlier.

She kept reading the letter, inspecting each picture careful and playing with the pyjama shirt and locket, that was until her phone buzzed, pulling her back to reality.

She checked the notification, and once she read it over she laughed hysterically in the empty room, and even rolled her eyes for good measure

 _CheetoBreath, NotEmP has requested to play Online Scrabble with you_

JJ clicked accept and was immediately brought into a live game with the woman. She smirked once she spotted the live chat feature down the bottom of her screen pop up one new message

 ** _Did you get in okay?_**

She quickly typed a reply

 _ **Perfectly okay. And also, I feel the same. Everything you said, just know, I feel the same. And, I could never forget you.**_

She intently watched the bubbles appear on screen that indicated Emily was typing

 ** _I love you J_**

The pain in JJ's heart lifted slightly, all she had wanted was to hear those words from Emily, and she held onto that fact that maybe, one day in the future, if things worked in her favour she might get to hear them in person.

 ** _I love you too sweetheart_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**AN: Just some short but fluffy family time. Enjoy.**_

It was a lazy Saturday, something that Emily Prentiss was still adjusting to.  
Before her life had taken it's most recent turn, she'd spend any free time she was lucky enough to have either in the gym or cooped up in her cold apartment with all her attention focused on any book she was lying to herself about enjoying.

Now Saturdays held much more importance to her. She finally felt like she had a place, a role in society apart from 'SSA Prentiss' and 'Ambassador Prentiss' daughter'.  
"Run Henry!" the dark haired woman called as she felt her heart swell with pride, and love for the five year old blonde boy who was racing towards her haphazardly kicking at the ball in front of him

The closer he got, Emily decided to play along too, and skillfully swiped the ball away from the boy. "Em'ly! No fair!" Henry stopped in his tracks and looked up at her in complete disbelief  
He turned to the bench behind them both and called "Mommy! I need help, lets beat Em'ly!"

The older woman brought her attention to her girlfriend, who was flashing her a beaming smile as she got to her feet "Now Emily, I can't possibly let you do that to my son- after all, he has his mothers soccer skills, and I _certainly_ won't let you say you're better than me"

Emily didn't respond verbally, instead just arched an eyebrow in challenge. Before she had time to think of what to do next, both JJ and Henry were racing towards her and immediately she fore fitted the ball to Henry, who had a smile to match his mothers.  
"Mommy!" he squealed kicking her the ball as best he could.

JJ received the ball, and darted past Emily, followed by the excited boy. They spent another hour together in the park, the three of them playing soccer with a break for ice cream, which Henry had spent chattering excitedly about the goals him and his mother had scored against Emily rather than actually eating his ice cream.  
They walked back towards JJ's apartment, with matching smiles on their faces.

"Thank you" JJ said simply as she slipped the hand that wasn't holding Henrys into Emily's

Emily laughed a little drily "You say that every week Jennifer, I told you, you don't have to thank me for spending time with you two, I love it"  
It was true, she really did. Nothing compared to the feeling she got from spending Saturday's like this, not even their date nights. This was something so different for Emily, it was contentment, and safety. It was perfection- as cliché as it sounded.

"I love you" JJ replied, a little nervously. They'd been together for just over three months now, and spent every weekend together and if JJ was honest she had wanted to tell Emily that from the first weekend she'd seen her and Henry bonding together in the park. Sure, she knew there were feelings for Emily there when they had been just friends, but she'd chalked them up to lust, infatuation, but that first weekend she knew it ran so much deeper.

There was a brief moment between them, which JJ immediately thought to be a bad sign, but that feeling disappeared with the smile she saw on Emily's face "I love you too Jen" she admitted and the emotion she failed to keep from her voice made JJ tear up.

"Mommy, Em'ly! Look, pizza" both women looked to the diner where Henry was pointing and JJ rolled her eyes

"Hen' baby, we just had ice cream- are you really hungry?" JJ questioned, but the boy wasnt phased and nodded enthusiastically

"Actually Jen, I'd eat some pizza" Emily added, which made JJ laugh as they all walked towards the diner entrance

"You two will be the death of me" she joked, smiling inwardly at the scene of Emily and Henry already disagreeing on what pizza to get.  
 _Well, if they'll be the death of me- there's no better way to go._

She sat into the booth opposite her girlfriend and her son and despite the fact it was not long before five on Saturday evening, JJ couldn't wait for next weekend.


	8. Chapter 8

_**AN: This is mostly angsty, kinda fluffy. Italics are flashbacks. Hope you enjoy it.**_

Emily winced, as she always did when she lowered herself down into her scalding hot baths. It was a coping mechanism and she knew it, but she'd of course deny that if asked. She didn't often resort to this, once she left her mother behind and went off to college she really only did it when she became overwhelmed. Now with the BAU it was after a bad case, or well, what happened tonight.

She'd been seeing JJ for almost a year, and everything had been great- to the point where they decided to share an apartment, but tonight was their first argument- first big argument. Emily knew their case had been taking its toll on JJ, it'd been doing the same to her. The victims were all brunettes, in their early 40's and had an eerie likeness to Emily, and from the moment they touched down in Texas JJ had been glued to Emily's side. Every time she turned around JJ was there, and if she wasn't JJ had recruited Morgan or Reid to watch her. It was beyond ridiculous.

She'd held it together as much as she could while they were away, after all they had a case to solve and an image to maintain but once they got home she let all her thoughts come flooding out.

 _"I'm an Agent Jennifer, I don't need to be babied" Emily snapped harshly as she dumped her go bag onto their couch and turned to face the equally as furious blonde_

 _"Babied? Christ Emily, you saw them women! You could've been Alice Haston's twin! I was trying to keep you safe!" JJ ran her hands through her hair and angrily pulled it into a tight ponytail_

 _"I'm just as capable of protecting myself as you all are! I'm a professional- I earned my place in that unit and I do not need you watching over my shoulder!"_

 _She had barely managed to get the end of the sentence out when JJ scoffed "Oh here we go- fuck, Emily, I was worried about you! Is it that difficult for you to believe that someone could actually be concerned for you!"_

 _"I could handle it" Emily admitted, a little less angry and more hurt. She had told JJ about her childhood and how she'd felt growing up and the blondes words struck a nerve, as intended. Of course dealing with other peoples worry for her was something she had to get used to._

 _"Oh yeah, because when you 'handled it' with Doyle it worked **so** well"_

 _Emily knew the woman was worried, or scared or whatever she had been feeling but JJ had no right to use Doyle against her, and that was when her resolve broke.  
"I'm going for a bath, I can't be around you right now" the sadness in Emily's voice was painfully obvious, and she didn't even give JJ a chance to respond before disappearing upstairs and running herself a scalding bath_

As Emily remembered what happened earlier she briefly thought she may be overreacting, but she made herself a promise years ago that she'd try her best to allow herself to feel however she felt, and she was hurt.  
She shifted in the bathtub and was instantly hit with the heat of the water again, it was then she noticed her usually pale skin had gone a bright red.

Emily wasn't positive how much longer she sat there, but it felt like seconds until she heard the lone knock on the door. She'd expected JJ's voice to follow and when it didn't she was left wondering would it be better to invite the woman into the bathroom or deal with everything once she got out.

"Come in Jennifer" she called with an attempt to keep her emotions out of her voice, but she wasn't entirely convinced it'd worked.

The click of the door shutting made Emily look up and meet the blondes striking blue eyes, which were unreadable.  
God, she hated arguments.

"Em.. Emily, I'm sorry- really I am. The things I said downstairs-um- well, they were out of line. I was out of line" she sat on the closed toilet lid and reached over a hand, hoping Emily would take it, and she wasn't disappointed because Emily slipped her damp hand into hers and interlocked their fingers.

"I appreciate that Jen.. but that doesn't mean you didn't hurt me" she admitted despite her instincts to box it up and just say that everything was okay "you know I struggle with handling people caring for me- I told you that I feel like you're the first person who did really and truly care about me, all of me.. and well the whole Doyle thing.. the reason I didn't rely on the team back then to help me was to protect them-"

"-I know Emily, you don't need to explain yourself to me" JJ gave her hand a gentle squeeze "I'm so sorry, I just spent this whole case on edge, I was so worried you'd be targeted and to try and spare me and the team you'd give in- I couldn't lose you Emily, not again"

As JJ explained her side of things it made Emily realise why she had acted as she did on the case, even if she'd gone about it in a way Emily hadn't liked she was just trying to make sure they both got home safely.  
"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" she asked and JJ scoffed

"I think I'm too pig-headed for my own good. Please forgive me Emily, I know I hurt you downstairs, and on the case, I'll try and use better methods the next time-"

"-I'm targeted by some deranged killer?" the brunette flashed JJ a dazzling smile and then continued "of course I forgive you Jennifer. How about next time we feel an argument coming we try and actually talk things out like adults? I don't like walking away from you like that"

JJ nodded "Good plan"  
It was then the blonde took notice of Emily's skin "Christ Emily, how hot did you run that bath, you look like you're blistering!" the concern in JJ's voice wasn't missed, and Emily thought maybe now would be a good time to open up some more about the events of her past.

"It looks worse than it is, but I think I have somethings I need to talk to you about.."

They spent the rest of the night talking, Emily divulging information about her life growing up that broke JJ's heart, but she knew she needed to hear. They ended up curling up in bed together. Emily's arms firmly around the younger blonde.  
"I'm so much happier now, now I'm here with you" she admitted once she was sure JJ had fallen asleep and she'd hoped she'd stay like that with her for the rest of their lives.


	9. Chapter 9

The apartment is deathly quiet as JJ arrives in the door that evening, usually she's greeted by sounds of laughter and play, although she realises when she looks at the clock, maybe it's too late for playing. Work lately had been a killer, it seemed like there was always some more paperwork she needed to have done, or case files reviewed, and it was in that moment she was thankful that Emily wasn't as busy as she was so she could spend the evenings with Henry, instead of some nanny.

She followed the dim lamp light down the hallway and her heart swelled as she looked in the door at her girlfriend and her son. Emily was sitting in the rocking chair by Henry's crib, with the sleeping boy cuddled close to her and a sleepy grin on her face.

"You're so cute" Emily whispered sweetly to the boy, which JJ heard perfectly even from across the room "and I'm so lucky to have you and your Mom"

That caused JJ to smile even more. They hadn't been together too long, it was only official about a month before Henry arrived, so that left them coming up to three months as a couple. JJ had thought of Emily as somewhat of a closed book so she didn't often hear things like that, and hearing that the dark haired woman felt the same way she did, it was magical.

"We're the lucky ones Em" JJ whispered as she walked into the nursery careful not to startle the older woman "I'm sorry I'm so late, has he been okay?"

The blonde carefully lifted the sleeping boy off of Emily and placed him in his crib.  
"He's been perfect Jayje, and you don't need to apologise this is what I'm here for"

"I have to admit, seeing you like that with him makes me melt a little" JJs words made Emily smile widely "you know, you're very maternal"

Emily's mood shifted and she just nodded silently. Before she had gotten with JJ she knew she had wanted a child of her own, something in her was desperate for a baby, maybe her biological clock was ticking out of control- but she always pushed those thoughts away, blamed the job and her lack of time, when really the only thing stopping her was her fear.

She hadn't had the most wonderful upbringing, and she felt very detached from her family. That led her to wonder if that's how she'd treat her child too, how could she be loving and caring when she never knew how to be that way, surely something like that doesn't just come to you?

JJ noticed Emily get lost into her head, as she stood in the centre of the nursery, looking just shy of bursting into tears. JJ couldn't help but wonder was it something she'd said?  
"Emily, sweetheart?"

When she got no response from the woman, JJ took Emily's hand and led her out of the nursery and into the hallway so as to make sure not to disturb Henry.

"Em, I'm sorry, can you tell me what's wrong?"

Emily sighed as she willed away the tears that were trying to escape from her eyes. She didn't want to be vulnerable like this in front of JJ, at least not right now- but wasn't that her problem, being detached? Maybe that's what she needed, to truly open up.

"Uh... you don't need to apologise Jay, this is me. I- I'm... it wasn't what you said" Emily was struggling, her words jumbled even before she could say them "I just always imagined a child as part of my life, and well, I'm handling it a lot better than I thought I would"

That threw JJ.  
"What made you think you'd handle it badly sweetheart, you're wonderful with Henry?"

"I know.. Well now I know, but before us and before Henry I worried about having babies because I'm so, well I'm.. emotionally distant. Out of touch"

As Emily finished the sentence that was clearly difficult for her to admit, JJ moved a hand up to cup her cheek "oh Em, I know what you mean, I can see why you'd feel that way, but honey you don't need to worry about that anymore. Look at you, Emily that boy loves you- and so do I"

That was the first time she'd said it, and it felt like the perfect moment. She'd briefly worried it'd be too early, but as quick as that thought came it went.

"I love you Emily Prentiss, I love you and even if you are _slightly_ emotionally distant, that's not the worst thing in the world. I still know that you'll make a wonderful girlfriend, and an equally wonderful mother"

Emily was shocked at the younger blondes words "Mother? You see me as Henrys..." the rest of the sentence died on her lips as some tears rolled down her cheeks

"Oh baby, yes. Emily I'm in this for the long haul, I don't usually throw myself into relationships, in fact before you I prided myself in not doing that, but God Emily everything about us feels right. This family, we're perfect... you look scared, should I shut up now?" JJ suddenly became aware of Emily's expression which resembled horror and became self conscious. She didn't want to frighten the other woman away.

"I'm not scared Jay, I'm just shocked.. I-I love you too, and I didn't realise you had thoughts like those ones too" Emily admitted, which led JJ to pull her into a soft, loving kiss

"Well now you know. You're part of my family Prentiss" JJ joked a little, before adding in a more serious tone "for as long as you want to be, of course"

"That sounds perfect" Emily kissed JJ again, and they walked together towards the living room."So, what do you say to a foot rub and a nice glass of wine"  
"Oh baby, you have the key to my heart, don't you?"


End file.
